RELATIONSHIPS

   DRIVE THROUGH IT

NO NEED TO FEAR MARRIAGE

Ask me to lead live a single life; I will give you ten reasons why I do not wish to go back to it.
 On 26th October, my own lovely wife Cathryn B. Obonyo told me early in the morning that we had made a month in marriage. Well, in my mind I said time flies so fast! Not that I was ignoring celebrating a month in marriage, but God gave women the ability to pay attention to details. So, we thanked God for the milestone. I then inwardly asked myself why do the youth fear to get married? The process is so simple when you involve God. Of course there are financial calculations you make as you arrange, but at the end of the day, God proves to us that His ways are so apart from our ways.

Last Monday, when I was leaving home for work, I picked one of my trousers quickly from the hanger to wear.  My wife then pointed at a different one and told me to leave the one |I had chosen because she had prepared another one for me to wear for the day. I was not used to some one caring to me to that extent apart from my mother doing it for me when I was still young. Now, I am helped about what to wear and truly because the life of a single person is slowly leaving my lifestyle. I went for work extremely smart and indeed that day, I received many complements from my fellow workmates about my smartness. I then felt like Adam in Genesis 2:23 when he said, "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh…."

When I was still single, I could tell my wife who was my fiancée by then that I loved her so much. Little did I know exactly what the whole thing was about.  I have now discovered that love comes from God and it is a command. I Corinthians 13:1-8 says:
"If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only resounding a gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I posses to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. Love is patient, love is kind, it does not boast, it is not proud…. In verse 8, Paul says love never fails."  Now, I am not saying love is limited to the married couple. You can show it to any person; right from a stranger to your relative.

Marriage has always been a sacred agreement between a man and a woman.  This means there is sharing in marriage. Once you are married, you stop leaving a selfish life and learn to share everything in life with your partner. When I was single, I would spend money according to my wish because no body could ask how I was using money. Today, I happily sit with Cathryn and plan how to allocate the money we get. Actually, she holds me accountable and I also do it to her. There is responsibility in marriage just like Paul says in 1 Corinthians 7:3-5; "The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his own wife, and like wise the wife to her husband. The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but to his wife…..devote yourself to prayer."

This entails submission to one another and prayer. It means saying sorry, it means being humble, it means loving your partner with your body, mind, soul whether there is money or not, whether there is a good car or not, whether there is a comfortable house or not
I have also discovered that it is God who provides us with a partner. Fine, one may look at the glaring beauty for the case of a man and a woman may look at the 'perfect man'. But, remember the person you are seeing as an angel may be the wrong person. Many youth look at the outside beauty yet marriage is beyond that make up, beyond that powder, it is beyond taking some one out to eat chaps, chicken. It is divine. This definition was written in the Bible and sanctified by God. Jesus said in Mark 10:7; "For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife and the two will become one flesh."
Obonyo frank